Noah Update

Our precious rainbow baby is 3 months old! He is 16 weeks on Monday. Where has the time gone? My little boy is growing up so quickly. He is such a blessing to us! We are so grateful, each and every day for God's gift. Little Noah has brought so much healing into our hearts. Each smile brings us such joy. Noah is doing so well. He is always so active, and surprises us each day with his new skills! His little legs rarely stop moving, and he has even rolled over a few times. Noah loves sleeping, and he is so good to his mommy and daddy. He sleeps through the night, and wakes up with a huge smile on his little face. We just can't get enough of him! Noah is quite the talker, and he loves talking to mommy and daddy, and especially his monkey! We have just loved watching him grow. I would like to share a few pictures of our sweet little boy with all of you. I happen to think he is pretty cute, even though I am really biased. ♡

     I know that many of you have been asking why I don't post pictures of Noah on Facebook. Trust me, it isn't because I don't take pictures of him.  I have over 1,000 + pictures of his first three months of life saved on my phone! But I just wanted to share my heart with all of you. On this journey of losing our daughter, I have learned so many things. During the months following the loss of Caroline, I felt so many emotions anytime I was on social media. Anytime I saw a pregnancy announcement, a baby announcement, milestone photo, birthday photo, or just pictures of precious babies in general, I never knew how I would respond. It usually brought me to my knees, in pain, in hurt, in anger, and always in tears. It was so hard to see other people having what I had lost. It was a painful reminder of what I would not have with Caroline. So after many tear filled nights, I decided to take a break from social media. It was such a good decision. During that time I spent more time reading God's word, and praying for the many people who were hurting. It put me in a much better place emotionally, and my heart was not filled with so much jealousy, anger, and pain. That break allowed me to focus on what was most important.
After knowing what it felt like personally, and to read those status updates, when my heart was already broken, I knew that I never wanted to be the cause of more pain for anyone else. There is so much pain, and hurting in this world. I have met so many beautiful and brave women who walk through each day experiencing loss in some form or another. I know from personal experience that I want to be sensitive to those who are hurting. Seeing a picture or announcement can trigger so many emotions, wanted or unwanted. So I have chosen to personally keep any announcements, milestones, and pictures off Facebook.
I do however, want to keep updating my blog. I am so incredibly thankful for all those who have followed our journey. Thank you for standing beside us, through the good and the bad. Thank you for all of the prayers. Thank you for all of your love, encouragement, and support. We are so thankful for all of you! Sending all of my love to each of you!

I would love to share Noah's song with all of you. I listened to this song over and over as he grew inside of me. It holds so much meaning to me. Noah is my hope. Through Noah's life God has restored so much hope into my life. Each time I look into his perfect blue eyes, I feel that hope renewed. I just love this little boy so much. He is such a special blessing!


Hope In Front Of Me
Danny Gokey

I've been running through rain
That I thought would never end
Trying to make it on faith
In a struggle against the wind
I've seen the dark and the broken places
But I know in my soul
No matter how bad it gets
I'll be alright

There's hope in front of me
There's a light, I still see it
There's a hand still holding me
Even when I don't believe it
I might be down but I'm not dead
There's better days still up ahead
Even after all I've seen
There's hope in front of me

There's a place at the end of the storm
You finally find
Where the hurt and the tears and the pain
All fall behind

You open up your eyes and up ahead
There's a big sun shining
Right then and there you realize
You'll be alright

There's hope in front of me
There's a light, I still see it
There's a hand still holding me
Even when I don't believe it
I might be down but I'm not dead
There's better days still up ahead
Even after all I've seen
There's hope in front of me

There's a hope still burning
I can feel it rising through the night
And my world's still turning
I can feel your love here by my side

You're my hope
You're the light, I still see it
Your hands are holding me
Even when I don't believe it
I've got to believe
I still have hope
You are my hope