Friday, June 16, 2017
On this night, 3 years ago, my body went into labor at 34 weeks 6 days. I remember that night, wishing, praying, hoping, pleading, that maybe it was false labor. I was not ready to meet my baby and say goodbye. I didn't want the pregnancy to end. Ever. I wanted my precious baby to stay inside me forever, safe, warm, protected, and alive. But God had a plan. Different from my own. He knew that it was almost time for Josh and I to meet our sweet baby. And in those moments of that late Monday night, June 16, 2014, I felt His Presence. I felt His peace wash over my heart. I felt calm, and ready to trust in what He had planned for us, and for our baby. That night, I did not know that only a few short hours later, I would be holding the most precious, beautiful, and loved little girl in my arms. I would cradle her, kiss her, talk to her, and pray over her. That night is forever etched in my heart and my mind. As my emotions are all over the place tonight, and I am reminded of those moments leading up to her birth, I know that God is near. Caroline's beautiful roses are in full bloom, just in time to celebrate her life! I love looking at them, smelling them, and remembering the memory of her life whenever Iook at them. Tonight I am so thankful for the roses, and their delicate beauty. I know that in the same way that God has lovingly designed each one, He has done the same with my Caroline Joy! I rejoice that she is perfect, whole, and surrounded by the greatest of love. I cling to the promise that one day, we will be reunited. But tonight, I am missing her just a lot more, and wishing I could look forward to precious 3rd birthday hugs and kisses tomorrow.