I am so excited to announce that our baby has officially made it to 24 weeks! It is truly a miracle when I wake up each morning, and know that I have another day to spend with my precious baby. During the past couple of weeks I have noticed that my belly is growing, which means that the baby is also growing bigger each day. The baby's movements from the inside have also started to grow stronger, which brings me so much joy! I am praying that very soon Josh will have the opportunity to feel the baby move from the outside. Each time I feel the baby move I think about the miracle of life. The doctors told us that we probably wouldn't feel the baby move at all. They told us that our baby's legs were unable to move, and therefore we would never be able to feel the baby kicking. But every time I feel those tiny movements I know that our baby is still in there fighting. This baby has been a fighter right from the very start, and continues to prove the doctor's wrong every day that it's little heart continues to beat. Our baby is proving to me each and every day that life is valuable, and that life has a purpose. This baby is such a miraculous gift from God to us!
Today I was reading from the book of Psalms. In the verses I have written out below we see David's prayer to God as an old man. He is looking back over his life and realizes how God has been faithful to him through the good times and the bad times. These verses really spoke to me today as I look back through my life as well. God as always been faithful to me, during the good times and the bad times. David reminds us that life is not easy. Just because we decide to follow Christ does not mean that we will be free from suffering. But in verse 20, David reminds us that we will be restored to life again, and be lifted up from the depths of the earth. What an amazing promise! The final verses bring me such hope in the midst of pain and suffering. Every day I question and wonder why I have been asked to walk this journey. I question why I must give up so many hopes and so many dreams. I question why God is going to take my baby away before I even have an opportunity to get to know him or her. But when I read these verses I am reminded that God is in control. He will restore me to even greater honor, and he will comfort me once again. In verses 22-23 it even says that I will be able to sing once again. I know that right now I feel so much darkness when I think about what is to come. I also know that there is going to be so much heart break, pain, and darkness in the months to come. I am incredibly scared for the future. But I love the beautiful promise that David was once again able to sing praises to God, even after experiencing great suffering and hardship. I am going to cling to this promise as well. I know that one day, I will be able to sing with joy in my heart again. I will be able to proclaim the faithfulness of God through the good times and the bad times. What a testimony it will be.
15 I will tell everyone about your righteousness. All day long I will proclaim your saving power, for I am overwhelmed by how much you have done for me. 16 I will praise your mighty deeds, O Sovereign LORD. I will tell everyone that you alone are just and good. 17 O God, you have taught me from my earliest childhood, and I have constantly told others about the wonderful things you do. 18 Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me. 19 Your righteousness, O God, reaches to the highest heavens. You have done such wonderful things. Who can compare with you, O God? 20 You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. 21 You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again. 22 Then I will praise you with music on the harp, because you are faithful to your promises, O God. I will sing for you with a lyre, O Holy One of Israel. 23 I will shout for joy and sing your praises, for you have redeemed me. 24 I will tell about your righteous deeds all day long, for everyone who tried to hurt me has been shamed and humiliated.