Overcomer

     This song has been such an inspiration to me! Not only does it give me the motivation to continue pressing on, but this song seems to also speak directly to my heart. Honestly, my baby has been the greatest overcomer. Every time I hear this song I just turn up the radio and sing it loudly and proudly for my baby. Despite all odds, my baby has continued to fight. Each and every day that my little baby continues to grow, is such a testimony to me of the great power of our God, and the miracle of life. 
     The words to this song are so true....

Overcomer by Mandisa

Staring at a stop sign
Watching people drive by
T Mac on the radio
Got so much on your mind
Nothing's really going right
Looking for a ray of hope

Whatever it is you may be going through
I know He's not gonna let it get the best of you

You're an overcomer
Stay in the fight ‘til the final round
You're not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it's hopeless
That's when He reminds You
That you're an overcomer
You're an overcomer

Everybody's been down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground
Oh, you're not alone
Just take a breath, don't forget
Hang on to His promises
He wants You to know

The same Man, the Great I am
The one who overcame death
Is living inside of You
So just hold tight, fix your eyes
On the one who holds your life
There's nothing He can't do
He's telling You

     I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I drive each morning with my heart heavy, and my mind full. I cannot stop thinking. I cannot shut off my mind. And most of all, I cannot stop the tears from falling. As much as I find hope, peace, and joy in the everyday moments, there are so many times when I am looking for that "ray of hope".  Everything just seems so dark sometimes. I think about all the pain, sorrow, and brokeness that is to come in the future. I think about how I will never be the same person again. I think about all of the hopes and dreams that I have let go. And most of all, I am scared to death of having empty arms. So more often than not, I find myself praying, searching, and crying out for that ray of hope.
     Where else can I turn, but to my Heavenly Father. No matter what I am going through, he is not going to let it get the best of me. No matter how dark, painful, and hopeless it may feel at the moment. The truth behind that statement is that I can be an overcomer, because of my God! Even when I feel like I cannot go on, and I do not want to even get out of bed, my God gives me the strength to search for the hope to keep pressing on. In the deepest and darkest of my moments, I feel an overwhelming sense of His presence. He gives me the strength to keep fighting. He gives me the strength to carry on each day with a smile on my face. He gives me the strength to love deeply, when I feel only heartbreak. He gives me the strength to dry my tears and walk forward into the day.
     This song is not just for me. It can speak to anyone who is going through difficult situations. Everyone has experienced pain, struggles, and sorrow. It is a part of life. It is a reality we all face. But the words to this song can remind us that we are never alone. Let me encourage you to find others to share your pain and sorrow with. We do not have to go through life alone. We can cling to each other. We can cling to a God who is always there. A God who knows what we are feeling, what we are thinking, and how hopeless our situation may seem. No matter how awful life gets, we have a beautiful hope in the promises that God gives to us in His Word.
     This song also reminds me so much of my little fighter. My baby has overcome so many huge obstacles already. No matter what happens in the future, I know that my baby has been fighting to meet me! I know that love can overcome so many hurdles. We have loved this little one since before we even knew he or she was alive.  We have prayed for this little one before we even knew he or she was alive. And I truly believe that real love makes the biggest impact. I pray each and every day that God gives my baby the strength to just keep fighting.
     It is my baby's strength that helps me to continue to press on. This baby has made me stronger. This baby has helped teach me how to love. This baby has given me a reason to smile, despite the pain. This baby has helped me overcome my fear. It is amazing at how such a little life, that I have not even met yet, has the ability to impact my life in a forever way. This baby has changed my life forever.
     Tonight on my way home, as the tears fell down my face, I realized just how grateful I am to be the mommy of this little baby. Ultimately this precious baby belongs to God. It is just a gift to Josh and I. We have already been so blessed with the gift of 8 months to have this baby in our life. As much as I want to hold my baby for the next 80 years,  I know that my baby ultimately belongs to God. The life of my baby is in His capable and mighty hands.
      It kills me to think of the short time we have left. It hurts me so deeply. I don't want the time to be over. I am not ready to meet my baby yet. I want my baby to be safe inside forever. But the end is inevitable. The baby is going to be ready to come out at some point. I wish there was some way I could prepare myself. But I feel so unprepared, and most of all not ready. Most moms at this point are so ready for the pregnancy part to be over. They eagerly anticipate the day they will finally meet their little one. At one time, months ago, that was me. I could not wait for summer to arrive. I had plans to take my baby to the park, to buy a little pool for our backyard, and to take our baby to the cottage. I could hardly wait to begin this new adventure. But now I have to be honest when I ask myself,  how do I get excited about the birth of my baby, when it will likely be the same day my baby dies? How do you ever prepare for the birth and the death of your baby all in the same day? I just don't know. I don't have the answers. I don't think that I ever will.  But that time will come. I must face the reality. And most of all I know that I must cling to God...  
       
                                     The same Man, the Great I am

                                     The one who overcame death

                                      Is living inside of You

                                      So just hold tight, fix your eyes

                                      On the one who holds your life

                                      There's nothing He can't do

                                      He's telling You