For Better or Worse

 

     People have said that I am strong. But to be honest, there are so many moments where I feel extremely weak. If it wasn't for the man who has been holding my hand through this whole journey, I do not know where I would be. He has helped me to find the strength inside to get through each and every day. God knew exactly what he was doing when he brought Josh and I together.
     Josh and I had known each other since we were young. We went to the same church, were in the same Sunday School class, and even hung out with some of the same friends. However, it wasn't until our senior year of high school that I even remember really talking to him. We spent a lot of time hanging out with a group of friends from church during that summer, especially during a mission trip to Louisiana. It was crazy when we discovered that we would both be attending Kuyper College that fall. During that freshman year of college Josh became my official stalker. He would be waiting for me after class, or waiting by my car in the parking lot. I was so annoyed with him! I knew he liked me, but I certainly did not like him. I was trying to focus on school, and he made it incredibly difficult. This went on for our entire freshman year.
     Once school was over for the summer Josh knew exactly what he was doing. He found out about a concert that I wanted to go to. Well I just couldn't say no to that, and so I agreed to go with him. We went to the concert and honestly spent the entire time just talking. The rest of our story was a crazy journey.
     Josh proposed to me on August 4, 2008, it was a beautiful evening at the beach. It was the perfect night, and I knew for sure that regardless of what happened in the future, I had truly been blessed with a beautiful gift. God knew exactly what I needed when it came to a husband. Someone who could put up with my stubbornness, my crazy emotions, and who is able to be almost as clean and organized as I am. It was so exciting to think of the future that God had in store for our new life together.
     When Josh and I said our vows to each other on our wedding day, I never could have dreamed how much they would mean now. Those promises we made to each other mean more to us today than we ever could have imagined. As much as I would love for everything to be different, I know that God knows exactly where we are at. God has equipped us with the strength that we need to help each other in our weakness.
     Josh has been there for me at every moment of the day. He wakes up with me at 3:00 in the morning just to hold me while I cry. He answers his phone at 7:58 when I just can't get out of my car to start the day. He tells me how beautiful I look, even though most days I just feel huge. He has gone to each and every doctor appointment with me. He allows me to just talk, even when it doesn't make sense. He has dinner ready when I get home from work late. He knows exactly when I need a hug. He knows how to make me laugh. He knows how to encourage me to just keep going. He knows how to say "no" when he knows its for the best. I could not walk through this journey alone.
     I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband. Our little baby is so blessed to have such a wonderful dad. I pray with all of my heart that our baby will be able to know just how much he or she is loved by us. I wish things were different. I wish that we would have forever to love this little baby as he or she deserves. I know that we both have so much love to give. But regardless of what happens in the weeks to come, we know without any doubt that this little baby is going to be loved forever. This baby holds a very special place in our hearts. We are so proud to the parents of our sweet and precious baby.