Friday, March 14, 2014
God's Great Plan
How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"
How can you not fall in love with something so incredibly beautiful! As she was looking around the lower half of baby's body it was the very first thing that I noticed. It is the most amazing thing in the world to realize that God is forming little tiny body parts inside the mother's womb. How crazy that it starts off as just a whole bunch of cells, and when it comes out it is formed into a beautiful little person. Looking at the pictures that we have from our ultrasound just makes me realize what a powerful and mighty God we serve. His hands are strong enough to protect us from harm, and gentle enough to create the smallest baby.
Every day I question why we are not able to be like everyone else. Why did God have to choose us to go through this painful journey. I do not understand why he would choose for our baby to have such a short life. It is so hard for me to accept. I honestly wonder sometimes what I did to deserve this heartbreaking path. I hate that my baby is fighting for it's life each and every day, and yet once it is born will never be able to experience the joys on earth. I hate that we should be shopping for a crib and baby clothes, but instead we are planning for our baby's burial. I hate that I have so much love in my heart that I want to be able to share with this baby forever, and I will not have that chance. I hate that so many people who love this baby will never be able to share in its life. It really isn't fair. I don't understand it.
Sometimes my heart just cries out for answers. If we have to go through all of this, why can we not understand why? It seems like this whole situation would just be so much easier if we could understand God's plan. If we knew the purpose for all of it. But honestly that is the beauty of life and being human. We are not God.
When I read that verse from Isaiah this morning I immediately thought of the beautiful ultrasound picture from our doctor's appointment on Wednesday. That incredibly amazing little foot with those five tiny toes. I could just stare at it for hours! My baby will never be able to feel the cool grass on those toes, or experience the waves rushing over those toes. But I do know one thing for sure. I am going to make sure that this little baby is able to bring good news to other people. I want my baby's life to proclaim peace and salvation to all who will hear. God chose to give this baby life. He chose to bring us into the situation for a reason. Although I will never fully understand why, I do know that this little life is a gift. It has been a great gift to us. I pray that it is a gift to others as well.